Don’t worry mom, I’m only getting better!

Well, that time of the year has come for me again. July 25, 2017 will be the third year anniversary of my mother’s death. And whenever this time comes around I never really know how I’m feeling. My emotions are basically like Virginia summer weather; I’m either hot and muggy, rainy and sticky or a mixture of both. Any way you look at it it isn’t pleasant. So this month I tried to push myself into ISLOATION

Of course, that can be a difficult task when you live with five other people who need to constantly meet to discuss our crazy landlord. Or, when you’ve switched your relationship status over to “It’s Complicated,” so you can work on yourself, but your still constantly hanging out with him. SMH! So much for Isolation

This month has been weird. It’s gone by so fast, I feel like I just got out of class a few weeks ago but the Fall semester starts in a few weeks. The date really snuck up on me. I can barely remember what I did on this day the past two years. I guess I spent it with my dad and my brothers maybe. I believe that’s what I did at least. Maybe I skipped my summer school class last year on that day. 

I have a bad memory! But I feel like I should still remember. Like life is just a big blur sometimes, flashing by. And I’m just sitting back down for the ride. 

Although, looking back at what I’ve accomplished so far this month makes me feel better about the days to come. So far, I have run 19.25 miles on my Nike + Run Club App (Add me as A Friend). I started my GRE study program. I’ve started modeling seriously again. I’ve upped my reading game (Currently reading The Souls of Black Folks and Looking Forward: A guide to future research). I exercise at least 2 times a week. And I’m switching to a pescatarian diet. So I feel great about life right now. 

I took this time and anguish, and put it towards something that makes me feel better. And I may not be isolated, but I have designated time for myself in order to improve myself. To sit with myself and visualize the life I want tomorrow; not the life I had yesterday. 

The past couple years, I honestly don’t even want to remember because I don’t feel like I was myself. I was lost in the sauce. Just going with the flow instead of taking control of my life. I was stuck on all the things I was missing; instead of appreciating all of the things I’ve been given. 

So, my July has been one of thankfulness, grit, determination, forward-thinking, homeostasis, renewal, will-power, confidence, movement, and happiness. Of course, there’s been obstacles but I still feel like I don’t have anything to worry about. I found a focus this month and I want to stay on the ball.

So I want to ask, how has your July been working out for you?

Have you done anything to improve your life? Or what do you want to implement?

How are you feeling?

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  1. I love you so much and so proud of the person woman you are and I speak for my sister your mother no other like her no other but we all carry her best part ❤️🙌🏿😇

    Liked by 1 person

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